Hello Angels,

I guess you can say it was an Armed Forces finish for yesterday’s Banquet 400 presented by ConAgra Foods (for the last time, man is that a weird name) at Kansas Speedway. Joe Nemachek, driving the Army No. 01 car, held off Ricky Rudd, driving the Air Force No 21, during a last-lap challenge. Nemachek, who was the pole winner for the second straight week, also won the Busch Series race on Saturday for a Kansas weekend sweep.  Congratulations to “Front-Row” Joe and the Army on their first win this season.

Speaking of Army, I’d like to take this time to introduce our newest Angel, Corwin, to the Charlie’s Angels Fantasy League. Corwin, serving with me on a secret mission overseas, is a big Mark Martin fan. He’s such a big fan that his alias’ name is Mark Martin.  Everyone please give a warm welcome to our newest Angel.

As long as we’re talking about secret missions, I got word the other day that Madison has safely returned to the United States after completing her secret mission overseas as well. Congratulations Madison your safe return.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention Dale Earnhardt Jr. and the whole swear word on live TV penalty that NASCAR has become accustomed to handing out. Some of you are probably going to disagree with me, but I think the penalty of 25 championship points and a $10,000 fine is not only severe, but out of NASCAR’s lane as far as governing racing. First of all though, NASCAR didn’t have a choice when it came to giving Earnhardt the penalty. They doled out the same penalty earlier this year to other drivers who swore on live TV. I thought the same thing then…the penalty is too severe. 

Earnhardt made a slip of the tongue, in which he apologized for. But to fine him and take away championship points for an off-the-track statement is not the way to govern racing, in my opinion. On top of that, he lost the NEXTEL Cup Championship points lead. Let the FCC and the TV networks deal with the swearing, or better yet, let the sponsor or owner, it is not NASCAR’s responsibility to be the moral police. Any other major-league sport’s governing body doesn’t fine their players for swearing during media interviews, why should NASCAR.

I could understand taking away championship points and a fine if Earnhardt had done something detrimental on the track either during the race itself, or even in post-race cool down laps, but for swearing in an interview?  What happened to freedom of speech? Somebody swearing in a slip of the tongue during an emotional moment is not detrimental to racing …what is detrimental is the way NASCAR continues to over-regulate. 

Ok, I think that I’ve had my little tantrum of the week, so lets see where we all stack up against each other after the 30th race of the 2004 NEXTEL Cup season.

Jill, for what ever reason you like to pick drivers that aren’t racing on a full-time schedule. Dave Blaney filled in for Carl Edwards in qualifying for last week’s EA Sports 500, but this week wasn’t on anyone’s schedule to drive. Because of this fact alone, you get the GOLDEN CABOOSE Award, for the second straight week. Might I suggest that you change your driver’s line-up and pick a fifth driver who can compliment the rest of your team. I only say this because three of your remaining four drivers didn’t’ do too badly. Not doing so well was Jimmie Johnson who finished a disappointing 32nd place with a banged-up car. Jeff Gordon finished 13th after being penalized for leaving equipment on the car after a pit stop. Earnhardt finished ninth, while Front-Row Joe won the race. Your average finish with your remaining four drivers is 11 even….hint, hint, hint.

Kelly, Jill saved you once again this week. It might be time for you to pick a whole new line-up after two straight weeks of horrible finishes. Your worst driver is Kevin Harvick, who finished 35th. Johnson finished 32nd, while Terry Labonte finished 21st. Terry’s brother Bobby (your Texas Sweetheart) finished just five spot ahead in 16th. Your top finisher though is Tony Stewart in 14th. Your average finish is a very disappointing 23.6  Much better luck next week.

Julie, your usual suspects didn’t fare so well either. Like Kelly, Harvick is your worst driver with his 35th place finish. Ryan Newman finished 33rd, while rookie phenom Carl Edwards finished 22nd. Your top two drivers are Gordon and Kasey Kahne. They finished 13th and 12th respectively. Your average finish is also a disappointing 23 even.

For me, Harvick and Johnson teamed up to end my hopes this week of having a decent finish and making up some ground toward our Charlie’s Angels’ Championship. Edwards finished 22nd, while Gordon finished 13th. Jill, you’ll be shocked at this one, but Dale Jarrett was my top-finisher with his eighth-place finish. Even with my uncharacteristic pick of drivers this week, my average finish is still only 22 even.

Sabrina, your worst driver is Johnson and his 32nd place finish. Robby (the other) Gordon finished 28th, with Scott Riggs finishing 26th. Your Italian Stud, Tony Stewart, finished 14th. Your top-driver this week is Jamie McMurray and his seventh place finish. Your average finish is 21.4.

Thin Man, Johnson and Casey Mears kept you from a decent average finish this week. They finished 32nd and 31st respectively. Edwards finished 22nd, while Jeff Gordon finished 13th. Your top driver is NEXTEL Cup points leader Kurt Busch and his sixth place finish. Your average finish is 20.8.

Madison, you gambled and lost this week when Kyle Petty finished 38th. Other than that, your drivers didn’t do too badly. Of course, Rusty Wallace continues his slide backwards with his 18th place finish, while Jeff Gordon and Kahne finished 13th and 12th respectively. Your top driver is Earnhardt with his ninth place finish. Your average finish is 18 even.

Dylan, your worst driver this week is Harvick and his 35th place finish. Kahne finished 12th, while Earnhardt, Jarrett, and McMurray finished ninth, eighth and seventh respectively. Your average finish is 14.2.

Kris, your worst driver is Newman and his 33rd place finish. Edwards finished 22nd, while your remaining three driver finished in the top-10. Earnhardt finished ninth, while Elliott Sadler, who flipped on the final lap last week to cross the finish line, finished fourth. Your top driver is Nemachek who won the race. Your average finish is 13.8.

Corwin, again welcome to Charlie’s Angels Fantasy League. Your debut’s worst driver is Mears and his 31st place finish. Mark Martin, your namesake, finished 20th, while Jarrett, Sadler and Greg Biffle finished eighth, fourth and third respectively. Your average finish is 13 even. Not bad for a rookie.

Bosley, your worst driver is Edwards and his 22nd place finish. Kahne finished 12th, while Earnhardt and Jarrett finished ninth and eighth respectively. Your top driver is Busch, who maintains the overall NEXTEL Cup points lead with his sixth place finish. Your average finish is 11.4.

I need to congratulate both Mr. X and the UnNamed One for their average finishes this week. They were only separated by .4 points, but the more amazing part is that they both had very low average finishes this week.

Unfortunately for you UnNamed One, Matt Kenseth finished 17th. That took you out of contention for our Top Angel Award. Jarrett finished eighth, while Rudd, Biffle and Sadler, finished second, third and fourth. Your average finish is still an extremely nice 6.8.

This of course leaves you Mr. X to be our TOP ANGEL AWARD winner this week. Your worst driver was Jeff Gordon and his 13th place finish. You managed to choose both the first and second place finishers, Nemachek and Rudd along with the seventh and ninth place finishers of McMurray and Earhnardt. Your TAA winning average finish is 6.4. Congratulations.

There are only six races left, so, choose your drivers carefully.

Next week’s UAW-GM Quality 500 is on Saturday night from Lowe’s Motor Speedway in Charlotte. 

Also, don’t forget to see where you stack up after yesterday’s Banquet 500 presented by ConAgra Foods (ok, I know I said I wouldn’t say it, but isn’t that a weird name?) on the RPM.ESPN Stock Car Challenge Web site.

Good luck Angels,