Hello Angels,

Welcome to this week’s carnage brought to you from Talladega Super Speedway in Alabama.  I really don’t have anything to rant or rave about this week, except what I always rant or rave about during Daytona or Talladega races every year…and that is restrictor plate racing.  The cars are so bunched up with each other that if you have one wreck it takes out a bunch.  This phenomenon is called “the Big One.”

The 2004 running of the Aaron’s 499 was no different, as this race’s Big One took out at least one driver in all 13 of our Charlie’s Angels teams. Some teams had two drivers affected by the 11-car crash that happened on lap 84 of the 188-lap race.  This time it was Tony Stewart who turned Kurt Busch into the oncoming freight train of cars behind them. Initially I blamed Stewart for aggressive driving, but after really watching the other drivers during the rest of the race, everyone was being aggressive and there was no give and take between anyone, including teammates.  Everyone involved in the wreck pretty much blamed Stewart.  One driver, Jeff Burton, who was right behind the Busch car when it was turned, wasn’t involved in the accident, but was very vocal about the incident on the radio with his crew.  He totally blamed Stewart for purposely turning into Busch and wrecking him.  Busch also agreed that Stewart was to blame and at the same time managed to alienate 160,000 fans by saying that there shouldn’t be a race at Talladega. 

Speaking of fans, they weren’t too pleased with the way that the race ended either…under caution with Jeff Gordon in the lead.  The fans wanted a last-minute red flag to stop the race after Brian Vickers spun to bring out the 11th and final caution-flag with only four-laps remaining.  But NASCAR stated before the race that it would not throw out the red flag if a caution came out with less than five-laps remaining.  Gordon was in the lead over Dale Earnhardt Jr., when the caution flag was thrown and won the race under that caution.  Obviously this didn’t go well with the fans because they threw out trash and other debris onto the track when the race was over.  Not exactly a classy thing to do, but they did it none-the-less. 

Speaking of unhappy fans, some of our Angels wish that the Big One didn’t happen this week. 

UnNamed One (Ray), this is definitely true for you because while Matt Kenseth wasn’t involved in the big one, he was involved in an early three-car wreck when he, Elliott Sadler and Kasey Kahne played race-car ballet when they were spinning down the backstretch and didn’t hit anything including each other. Unfortunately for you, and Kenseth, his engine went kaput later in the race and his day was over finishing in 42nd place. Sadler had to make some repairs to his car and went five-laps down and finished 28th.  Then the Big One happened taking Busch out of the race. He finished 36th.  Dale Jarrett finished in the lead pack of cars in 17th, while your best driver of the day, Brenden Gaughn, finished 13th.  UnNamed One, your average of 27.2 is worthy of me bestowing you as our CHARLIE’S ANGELS’ GOLDEN CABOOSE award winner this week.  I think I can speak for everyone of our Angels when I wish you an extreme amount of better luck next week.

Thin Man (Rob), I’m not sure what you’re laughing at because you didn’t do much better.  It’s not often that I can say I’ve got good news and bad news when talking about our next to last place finisher.  In your case, I can.  The good news is that you have the Aaron’s 499 winner on your team with Jeff Gordon.  The bad news is that you also have the Aaron’s 499 last place finisher, Ricky Craven, on your team as well.  Craven blew an engine very early in the race. Having Kurt Busch on your team didn’t help because Kasey Kahne was involved in two wrecks today: the three-car wreck with Kenseth and Sadler, and then ultimately the Big One with everybody and their brother (I’m not kidding about that one because both Rusty and Kenny Wallace were taken out too). Kahne finished 30th, while Busch finished 36th. Your average finish is 25 even.  Like the UnNamed One before you, I wish you a bunch of better luck next week as well.

Julie (Sally) Kenseth’s and Kahne’s unlucky day today hurt you because your remaining drivers didn’t do so badly.  Jarrett ran in the lead pack all day and missed all the carnage, but when the checkered flag flew, or shall I say 11th caution flag flew, Jarrett was 17th.  Bobby Labonte had a quiet day and finished 10th.  Casey Mears had an outstanding day and I believe even led a lap or two. He finished eighth.  Your average finish is 21.4.  Much better luck next week.

Mr. X (Dave), like Julie before you, Kenseth and Kahne definitely hurt you with their finishing positions. Helping you though is Gaughn and his 13th place finish along with Ryan Newman, who was involved in the Big One, who finished 11th.  Your top finisher today is Earnhardt, who finished the day in second place. Your average finish is 19.6.  Better luck next week.

Bosley (Jude), Busch’s wreck hurt you because you also have Stewart on your team as well.  While Busch didn’t get payback on Stewart, there was poetic justice because Stewart was spun by Jimmie Johnson in pretty much the same manner that Stewart spun Busch.  In that case it was definitely an “accident” and no other cars were involved.  Stewart could not recover though and finished 22nd. Scott Wimmer led a lap during caution but when the green-flag waved, he quickly was shuffled back to the middle of the pack.  He finished 18th.  Newman finished 11th and Jamie McMurray survived the race and finished ninth.  Your average finish is not that much better than Mr. X at 19.2.  Better luck next week.

Dylan (Jen W) you successfully changed your driver line up, but unfortunately your drivers didn’t all do so well.  In your case, Kahne and Sadler were your nemeses. Kyle Petty finished on the lead lap though in 24th.  Your top drivers are McMurray and his ninth-place finish and your second hubby, Earnhardt, in second. Your average finish is 19 even.  Better luck next week.

Kris (Peggy) you and I tie for our fifth finishing spot this week.  I’ll start with you because your bottom three drivers finished worse than my bottom three.  Your drivers are Kahne (30th), Sadler (28th) and Vickers who got stuck in 27th after the field was frozen when he crashed down the backstretch.  Your top-two drivers are Johnson who finished in third and Earnhardt who finished second.

For me, the Big One took out Kahne and Busch (36th), while my remaining three didn’t do too badly.  I considered trading Wimmer after last week’s race, but ultimately decided to keep him.  He finished 18th.  Johnson and Gordon round out my team with their third and first place finishes respectively.

Our average finish this week Kris is a not-so-bad 18 even.  Better luck next week.

Natalie (Donna) like Kris before you, Kahne and Sadler were your downfall this week. At least Sadler didn’t go sailing end over end like he did the last time he was at Talladega.  Jarrett finished 17th while Johnson avoided a wreck and survived a cut tire early in the race to finish third.  Your average finish is 17.6.  Better luck next week. 

Sabrina (Susan) a lot of people are blaming your Italian stud, Stewart, for taking out 10 other lead-lap cars…what say you in his defense???  I know Kahne isn’t very happy about it…and he’s on your team as well. They finished 22nd and 30th respectively.  Ken Schrader stayed on the lead lap as well, but could only muster a 23rd place finish.  Mark Martin was poised to possibly win the race today, but ultimately finished in sixth place. Your top driver is Earnhardt in second.  Your average finish today is a not so bad 16.6.  Better luck next week. 

Tiffany (Jen Y) and Kelly (Sarah) you both tied this week also. 

Tiffany I’ll start with you. Joe Nemachek wasn’t a bad pick for today considering he qualified fourth.  But he had engine problems of some sort and finished 32nd.  Need I say anymore about Kahne???  Nope.  Michael Waltrip was shuffled out in the final laps when Earnhardt left his butt with seven laps to go.  He finished 12th.  Kevin Harvick led a few laps today but could only muster fourth in the end. Your top driver today is Earnhardt and his second place finish. 

Kelly Kahne and Stewart were your two worst drivers today. Today’s pole sitter, Ricky Rudd, was involved in one of the wrecks today, but survived it to finish 16th.  Your texas heartthrob finished 10th, while your top driver of the day, Earnhardt finished second. 

Tiffany and Kelly, your average finish today is 16 even.  Nice job. 

Well Jill (Jennie) somehow you managed to rebound from last week’s debacle with Joe Ruttman. Unfortunately you picked Kenny Wallace, who I mentioned earlier got taken out in the Big One, along with Kahne.  Wallace finished 37, and you already know where Kahne finished. Helping you out though was finally picking Jeff Gordon to be on your team again.  He, along with Earnhardt and Johnson finished first, second and third, which propelled you to be our TOP ANGEL again with a 14.6 average finish.  Congratulations. 

Our teams’ average finish this week is a disappointing 18.62.

Program note from last week’s commentary.  I asked a question about who the Thin Man was fixated on, and the correct answer is Dylan. 

Next week’s race is the Auto Club 500 from California Motor Speedway.  Don’t forget to go to RPM.ESPM Stockcar Challenge to see where you stack up against all the other Angels.

Good luck next week,